Favorite Holes in Golf: #5, SoPo Muni

Golf is a sport of privilege. I had enough to play but not enough to walk on at an elite country club or drill unlimited range balls for hours on end. For the most part, growing up, golf was something I did with my dad on weekends and during the summer with my friends. A few courses eventually became “home” because of proximity and affordability. But in general, I played wherever.

I love the game with a fiery passion but big Golf is 80 percent window dressing--and don’t let anyone tell you differently. Unless you’re a professional or an elite amateur, the clubs you use ain’t gonna matter, the balls ain’t gonna matter, the gear ain’t gonna matter, and the course you play at ain’t gonna matter. Those are all things the industry wants you to think so you’ll spend more money chasing what you see on TV.

In a roundabout way, that brings me to hole number 5 at South Portland Municipal Golf Course in South Portland, Maine. It’s a 375-yard double-dogleg par 5 that bends up and to the right, then down to the left. It’s the longest of the 9-hole 2,071-yard, par 33 course, where I learned to play the game. And even after I improved to the point where my game "outgrew" SoPo Muni, I’ve never been able to walk on the course and score in the low-30s. Every hole feels condensed, the greens are tiny and slow, and the dogleg-to-tree-height ratio on the trickiest holes makes attacking anything risky.

I love hole 5 at Sopo as much as I hate it, which is why it’s one of my favorites. The double dogleg requires a 180-yard shot off the tee. You got the highway on your left, and thick woods on your right. The first dogleg breaks right about 215 yards off the tee, uphill, to a plateau. From there, it’s a little pitch to a narrow green, surrounded by out of bounds. If you short the plateau on your second shot, you’ll need to hit over a giant oak on your third or waste another shot pitching to the plateau. If you hit the oak, you’re looking at double, maybe triple bogey. I still don’t know how to play it. My instinct is to try to cut the first dogleg, but if the shot isn't perfect, chances are, I'll have to re-tee.

The challenge is mental. The more a player is accustomed to playing on "nicer" courses, the harder number 5 at SoPo becomes. In general, 375 yards is a short par 4 most places. But the lack of available real estate at SoPo meant building a hole that’s too tight for a driver or a wood off the tee and requires three different iron shots to have a chance at a solid score. I’m happy making par here.

For perspective, there are par 5’s at “nice” clubs I’ve played that measure over 500 yards where I’m disappointed with par and am usually looking for birdie. But that’s why I love golf. For all the pomp and circumstance that surrounds the game, it’s always there to remind the people who think they know best that they don’t (myself included). The game is purely situational at all times. If you can ignore the window dressing and the history and remember it’s just hitting a ball with a stick at a target, you may learn to appreciate it more.